Small Talk is Boring, Try These Instead:
Long time, no blog :(. I have been in a state of analysis paralysis regarding content, which subsequently has meant it has been over 3 months since my last post. But, I am currently at Cafe 1001 on Brick Lane; looking at a poster for £5 negronis and debating whether or not I should trade in my iced oat latte for one of those puppies (it’s 14:30); and I am determined to not leave my position until I have posted SOMETHING on the blog. Hopefully, you reading this means that I have been successful!
Question: Do you think that we are in the era of the death of the reality star?
Because if we are, and ‘normal’ people start going on dating shows to actually find love, I bagsie being first round pick for Love is Blind UK. I feel like I already approach dating like I’m in the pods. And, I don’t mean that the appearance of the people I date suggest I picked personality over looks (well, not always anyway) (joking), but more that I ask allll of the big questions up-front, typically on the first date and should I deem we are not aligned, I proceed to ‘nip it in the bud’ without a moment’s hesitation. Heavy is the head that dates for marriage.
However, if I were to go on the show, I would want to commit to the experiment and try to deviate from being so trigger happy on calling it a day with people and so what this means is that I would have to seriously innovate my line of questioning whilst in the pods to have any hope at being confident enough to marry someone at the end of it.
After a good long think, and x1 £5 negroni, below is a rough, first draft of what I deem to be a character defining questionnaire. In theory, the lovely man who answers each of these questions satisfactorily, is Mr Rumali!!
p.s. I’m aware I have no chill x
Would you rather live in the ground floor flat and deal with upstairs noise, or be the one making it upstairs?
Do you recline your seat on a plane?
In the event of a nuclear war or other mass extinction, would you want to survive?
Do you feel a compulsion to be “devil’s advocate” in discussions?
If you only have one shower a day: is it in the morning or at night before bed?
Do you think there is a point/purpose to life?
In a marriage or long-term partnership where children are involved, do you think it’s more important to prioritise your partner or your children?
In a relationship where one person is the breadwinner and the other is the homemaker, do you think the money belongs to one, or both?
Do you lightly clean a hotel or Airbnb after your stay, even if there is a cleaning fee?
Would you rather overthink every move or strut through life without a doubt?
Which member of a band are you typically drawn to? (I.e. lead singer, bassist, guitarist, drummer, keyboard/pianist etc)
When you are running low on a essential/favourite product, do you wait until it’s finished to purchase a new one?
If you’re already sitting when your friends arrive to meet you, do you stand-up to say hi?
Do you view a [literal] ‘rain-check’ as a legitimate and valid reason to reschedule plans?
Have you dined at a restaurant alone?
If you owned a restaurant, what would be your cancellation policy?
For Birthdays, Festivities and other gift giving occasions, do you prefer that people ask you exactly what you want? Or, that they gift you something that they think you’ll like?
Do you have a break-up song? If so, what is it?
If you want children, are you attached to your first born being a specific sex?
If you want children and one or more of your children are not straight, would you expect them to ‘come-out’ to you? Or, would you expect to deduce that from the romantic partners they bring home?
[For people who live in densely populated areas] do you close your blinds every time you get changed?
If the host of a dinner party you’re invited to insists that you don’t bring anything- do you respect their wishes or still arrive with a gift?
What’s your most controversial opinion?
Do you kill spiders in your house or move them outside?
Do you use ChatGPT or Google for a simple query?
